49.9K ·GitHub
What is this?
A comedic collection of sysadmin automation scripts inspired by a viral forum post about a build engineer who scripted away every annoying chore, from faking late-night SSH activity to auto-replying to panicked client emails.
A comedic collection of sysadmin automation scripts inspired by a viral forum post about a build engineer who scripted away every annoying chore, from faking late-night SSH activity to auto-replying to panicked client emails.Is this a real toolkit I can drop into my server, or more of a joke?It's a parody collection: scripts like smack-my-bitch-up.sh and fucking-coffee.sh are written for laughs rather than production use, though a few lean on real tools like cron, SSH, Twilio and gmail.
It's a parody collection: scripts like smack-my-bitch-up.sh and fucking-coffee.sh are written for laughs rather than production use, though a few lean on real tools like cron, SSH, Twilio and gmail.How would I actually run these scripts?You set the required environment variables for the script you want (API keys, SSH creds, etc.), then for the Ruby ones install the needed gems with `gem install dotenv twilio-ruby gmail`; most are meant to be wired up as cron jobs that fire on specific conditions.
You set the required environment variables for the script you want (API keys, SSH creds, etc.), then for the Ruby ones install the needed gems with `gem install dotenv twilio-ruby gmail`; most are meant to be wired up as cron jobs that fire on specific conditions.What do I need installed for the Ruby scripts?Ruby plus the dotenv, twilio-ruby and gmail gems for sending texts and reading/writing email; other scripts in the collection assume things like a cron scheduler, SSH access, or in one case a network-connected coffee machine with an open TCP socket.
Ruby plus the dotenv, twilio-ruby and gmail gems for sending texts and reading/writing email; other scripts in the collection assume things like a cron scheduler, SSH access, or in one case a network-connected coffee machine with an open TCP socket.Are these scripts ready to use as-is?No, they're documented from a story rather than shipped as finished tooling, so you'd need to fill in real logic for SMS sending, email parsing, or coffee-machine control before any of them would actually run.
No, they're documented from a story rather than shipped as finished tooling, so you'd need to fill in real logic for SMS sending, email parsing, or coffee-machine control before any of them would actually run.What's the story behind this repo?It started as a Russian forum post describing scripts a departing build engineer left behind, including one that auto-texted his wife excuses for working late and another that rolled back a client's staging database whenever a panicked DBA emailed for help.
It started as a Russian forum post describing scripts a departing build engineer left behind, including one that auto-texted his wife excuses for working late and another that rolled back a client's staging database whenever a panicked DBA emailed for help.Which script is the most absurd?fucking-coffee.sh waits 17 seconds, then telnets into the office's network-connected coffee machine to brew a latte, timed so it's ready exactly when the dev walks over to grab it.
fucking-coffee.sh waits 17 seconds, then telnets into the office's network-connected coffee machine to brew a latte, timed so it's ready exactly when the dev walks over to grab it.What are similar projects?acme.sh, zx, huginn, chatwoot, the-art-of-command-line, ProxmoxVE, PowerShell, tmuxinator
acme.sh, zx, huginn, chatwoot, the-art-of-command-line, ProxmoxVE, PowerShell, tmuxinator